WOULD YOU MARRY A SHORT MAN?

Ioften recall that scene in Terri Mc millans
Waitingtoexhale where four thirty
something black
women sitaboutbemoaning their singletude. Drinking
to stupor at afriend’sbirthday party, they
wonder
what has happenedto all themarriageable guys.
According to them they are all eitherugly,stupid, in
prison, unemployed, crack heads,short,liars,
unreliable, irresponsible, too possessive,dogs
shallow,boring, stuck in the sixties, arrogant,
childish,wimps, too old andset in their ways”
or
elsedead.
Whether it is logicalto lump ugly and irresponsible
in thesame basket is another issueall together, but
if we turned thetables and asked the guys torespond,
they won’t be shortof clues. How about
fat,money
grabbing dense, too yellow, tooshallow, too insecure,
ortoo bitchy? The truth is that many of ushave lost
the ability tolove others; we are too in lovewith
ourselves.
Admit it or not,this is the age ofunrepentant
narcissism. Generations x, y and z,have sold tous
the erring view that the rightness of any actionis
evaluatedin terms of how much it favours the actor,
nobodyelse natters. Itsall about unfettered
ambition, unbridled hedonism,an explosion ofthe
self.
Nowadays it’s a heinous offence tobe shortor
fat.
And if you are a man, you have to be richandfamous
too. What is wrong with the guys? Theydon’t
wantto
get married. What they want is a retinueof women of
allshades and character, just like the biblicalking
David. Even whenthey do get married, they keep the
harem. Ifyou take away theharem, they will just die.
Yet there is somethingtotallycaptivating where you
find warmth, faithfulness, tenderness,trustand
openness, all of which form part oftheincorruptible
language of love. If we are all sobusycourting
perfection, why are there so many peoplegroaning
aboutnot finding love? Patently, this intense loveof
self is the exactantithesis of love.
To find true and lastinglove we have got to beone
way; when we can’t be patientand just
can’ttolerate
any flaws in others when wecan’t share
ourincrease
with others nor build strengthand confidence inthem,
when we can’t let go and bevulnerable, we
cannotknow
true love.
Oh its just cool to bemean and selfish,ambitious and
relentlessly self seeking, but thatway, theonly
contact you will have with true love will be inyour
dreams.Once you wake up, its back to the grind. The
girlswill love yourArmani suit, and gleaming black
jeep, but what aboutyou? I meanwhich woman could
love a habitual liar, a regular swivelhead whohas
just never had enough? What about the boastingbore
who onlywants to talk about his money and his looks?
Afterthe tenthousandth one night stand, why does he
still so empty? Heneedstrue love.
True love has sneaked upon me a few times inmylife,
but it didn’t come in a perfect bottle, andits
Neverbeen the same twice. Bottle number one was at
least oneinch shorterthan me. I never planned to
fall in love with him. Yethe was sosweet, so funny,
and so generous and he understood me sowell thatI
couldn’t resist him. I didn’t fall inlove
withbottle
number two because he didn’t meetmy
requirementsat
the time that we met. He was terribly goodlooking but
thatwasn’t enough. He loved my flaws justabout
as
much as anyother thing about me. He teased me noend
about my‘funny” walk and the toooft
criticized
sharpness of mytongue. But I didn’t tunein to
him
because I was too busysearching for a setpiece.
It’s really all about the choiceswe make. Ifyou
seek
the right things, you may find lasting love.Ifyou
look through loving eyes you will find true love. If
youareready to wait, make sacrifices, and risk being
taken forgranted,you will find true love. If you
will only look beyond a bighead ofskinny legs, you
might just discover the patner that was madejustfor
you.
On the contrary, if all you want isMiss
"est’:the
tallest, lightest, bustiest, richest,flashiest. The
questwill be fun, it will also be endless. And noway
will I feel sorryfor you when you morph into a ninety
sevenyear old die hard livealone barchelor. Not even
the the ninety yearold widow next doorwill give you
the time of day. It will be justyou, yourselfand
yourwalkingstick!